Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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