6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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