i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
