you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
P.S. I can't hear my feet
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
