i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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