Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
