She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
