Swine flu is the new snow day.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
