Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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