I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
