do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
