I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
zippers are such a cool invention
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
They have beer where we have blood.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
