i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize