no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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