Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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