I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I need to align my fucking chakras
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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