never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
