I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
