I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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