My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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