So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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