even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
