Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
