Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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