He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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