There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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