Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it's like iHOP with fire
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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