I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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