I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
