you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
