that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
