i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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