a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this just has baby written all over it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
