at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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