Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
