I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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