Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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