I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
