we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
