i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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