Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
