READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
