i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
