Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
