she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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