no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
