he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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