i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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