I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
