Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
