we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
