Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
