eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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