PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
