My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
