Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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